WTF Friday: Holey Matrimony & Loch Ness Lay by Kevin Strange

Well, another WTF Friday is upon us, which means we once again turn the Ruins over to my dark half. As regular visitors will know, Foster has a passion for messed up literary diversions - books that are bizarre, twisted, grotesque, and kinky - and he's only too happy to splatter them across the page.

Assuming I believed in Hell, I'm completely and utterly convinced that I would be headed there on a suicidal express train for having read, much less enjoyed, Holey Matrimony. This is the kind of story that WTF Friday was invented for. It's weird, perverse, blasphemous, and monstrous in equal measure, with an awkward clash of the arousing and the amusing.

The story starts out simply enough, with a henpecked husband careening off the Met Street bridge and into the waters below. Just when he figures he's about to take his final breath, he's not only saved, but saved by guy who puts the 'save' in 'savior' - yes, Jesus Christ himself! Together, they look down upon the paramedics trying to save John's life . . . while Jesus begins playing the weird seducer. As if that weren't awkward enough, it turns out John isn't just a closeted gay man, and not even just a closeted gay man with green scales below the neckline, but a closeted gay man with green scales below the neckline and three (count 'em, three!) penises.

Yeah, it gets even weirder from there, with some of the most blasphemous use of hands and holes you can imagine, but things are not what they seem (the tentacles are a  dead giveaway). I really have to hand it to Kevin Strange, he pulls no punches with his imagination. Lest you think this is just a blatant, empty attempt to offend and horrify, however, there is a story behind it all, and a few final twists that almost - I say almost - bring a semblance of normality to the story. At least, that is, until the final line.

Kindle Edition, 33 pages
Published April 20th 2014 by Strangehouse Books


So, how do you top a pair of kinky lesbians in a long distance-relationship, one of whom has a fetish for snakes, and one of whom likes to watch? Well, if the story is Loch Ness Lay by Kevin Strange, then you give Margo something truly monstrous with which to feed her fetish.

Circus freak show girl turned cryptozoologist, Margo just landed the gig of a lifetime as an expert for the reality show "Finding Nessie." Having celebrated virtually with her girlfriend, she heads to Scotland and seduces her way aboard the crew's boat. You can probably guess where it goes from there, and you're largely right (whether you like it or not), but it's Margo's means and motivations that put a truly horrifying spin on the story.

This is a story laced by, infused with, and defined by violence. It's as incredible as it is impossible, with Margo's past compelling her to sacrifice all and everyone for the monstrous equivalent of revenge sex. Yes, boys and girls, the Loch Ness Monster is real . . . and it's hungry for more than one flavor of human flesh. As for the patented Strange twist at the end, this has to be one of my favorites, with twist piled upon twist upon twist as he tears through the final couple of pages.

Kindle Edition, 18 pages
Published June 23rd 2014 by MonstErection Publishing