WTF Weekend: Triangulum Stain by Moctezuma Johnson

Something has crashed in the desert. Aliens? Clones? Robots? What is it? The government is on the scene. WIBs have been dispatched. Freak Force Five is on its way in a supersonic jet. Why? There is a chemical agent in the air from a capsule returning from space. It is an extraterrestrial agent that gets into men’s liquid. That's right. When a man ejaculates he creates a monster, a clone. Today, in Beaver Lick, Arizona, when a man finishes, he falls into a deep sleep and the liquid stain turns into an living, moving silicone-made sentient Alien that preys on young women so they can asexually reproduce and takeover the world. This is a tale of colonization, of sentient sex toys, and how some Superhero Women in Tight Sexy Latex try desperately (and I do mean desperately!) to stop the invasion.

Triangulum Stain is a smutpunk story about how a team of scientists created to stop outbreaks long before this agent lands in Arizona are fighting against their own lab's doomsday clock. It follows a few unlucky civilians who found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Everybody tries to stop this alien takeover of Earth. Will the heroes survive or will they all be sexed to death? Finding out is a fun, humorous thrill-ride.

The story is Michael Crichton meets Mika Tan. It is the new one from Moctezuma Johnson. It is Sci-Fi/Erotica with touches of satire and parody.

  

The Triangulum Stain saga is pure b-grade schlock, an erotic science fiction cheese-fest about an interstellar Attack of the Replicating AliensMoctezuma Johnson really plays with the tropes of alien invasion, Area 51, government conspiracies, and the (Wo)Men in Black, giving it all a sexually subversive spin.

Aliens have infected a small town with a bizarre new STD that drives everyone mad with lust and breeds massive, sentient dildos from every male ejaculation. It's silly and completely over-the-top, and way too much fun. Once the story moves underground, to the Area 51 type secret lab, there are some genuine chills to go along with the thrills, especially when we learn just how quickly humanity could be overrun by it alien dildo masters. Topside, however, is where the real fun happen when the Five Hive - also known as Freak Force Fuckers and Fuck Force Five - arrive to fuck those alien toys into submission.

All of that, though, is just a prologue to The Battle for Alien Relish, which is where the real smutpunk fun begins. Basically, without spoiling too much of either book, the ladies of the Five Hive were a tad too successful in stopping Dildoggeddon, and now the entire universe is dying, robbed of the lust and the passions that drive us as a species. On M69, planet Alien Relish, cum runs through rivers and explodes out of volcanoes. It is the gas of the universe, and it's dried up because of their effort, so now Five Hive have to fuck it back to life.

There is a lot going on in this second book, but the breathless sort of reading experience is entirely suited to the story being told. It's bold, busy, and bewildering, but somehow the convergence of sci-fi schlock, monster erotica, and ribald humor really works. The Five Hive really get a chance to show their stuff here, but they also become character with backstories, making them more than just an ultra-sexy plot device. Moctezuma Johnson teased us with potential in the first book, but here he throws us down, bends us over, and drives the story in deep. There is even a cum-soaked perversion of the Cthulhu mythos in this second volume, leading to an action-packed climax that could challenge any Michael Bay blockbuster - assuming, of course, a gleeful XXX-rating was allowed.

Pop & Lollie isn't a direct sequel to the first two Triangulum Stain stories - there are no sentient dildos here - but it does take place in the same universe, and it does once again feature the oversexed heroics of the Five Hive.

Even if the story is a little light, the telling of it is probably my favorite of all three stories, and by far the most pure smutpunk of them all - narrated by a pair of horny lollipops who want to dip their sticks before locking their hard, sticky goodness in your eye socket.

You can be forgiven for wondering where the hell the story could possibly be going for the first half, but the second half pays off with a very funny, very sexy, rescue mission aboard the USS Enterthighs to, you guessed it, M69, planet Alien Relish. I feel like Moctezuma Johnson held back a little bit here - there was so much potential with those sticky lollipops and creampied thighs - but it's still a fun, crazy, smutpunk read.

  

Kindle: 152 pages
Published: April 5, 2014 to May 15, 2017

The WTF Weekend gang is group of readers and reviewers who enjoy Weird, Taboo, and Forbidden fiction that is most definitely NSFW. Join us every Saturday and Sunday for more twisted tales . . . and if you have a review to contribute, please contact us!

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