Tips for Surviving a Killer by Lincoln Crisler (GUEST POST)

Tips for Surviving a Killer

In the wake of Skinjumper’s publication, it occurs to me that I should attempt to provide some sort of public service, instead of simply shilling my novel. So, I got together with my significant other—to whom the book’s dedicated, by the way, to brainstorm some tips for surviving a killer. She has a Masters’ Degree in Psychology, not to mention a real education—ten years of living with me! These are in no particular order. Keep in mind, not all of these will apply to all situations or all killers, and you’ll probably only have a chance to try one or two—so choose wisely!

  • The best sort of tools for a more aggressive approach can probably be found in the kitchen or garage. You may have seen this written elsewhere as the stereotypical “don’t piss a woman off in the kitchen, or a man in the garage,” but I personally (Lincoln) would be more dangerous in a kitchen, and I’ve met women who’d be more dangerous in the garage. But chances are, one of these places would be your place of power if a killer came after you in your home.
  • The macho approach might not work, though. Connie advises not necessarily trying to “out-Alpha” a killer, because the wrong sort (is there a right sort?) would take that as a challenge to step their game up, making things even worse for the victim.
  • Try to play on their sympathies. Connie thinks women could parlay a “bathroom” or “feminine issues” excuse into a chance at escape while I’m thinking one could possibly ask for a last cigarette, giving him or her the chance to grab the “pack” from a drawer where a weapon is hidden.
  • In a similar vein, Connie advises maybe asking the killer about their motivations and offering sympathy of your own. Humanizing themselves in their own eyes could help you. Try to get to the root of their issue and let them know you feel for them—at least until you can get to a weapon or a lockable door. You can, of course, humanize yourself by talking about your family, your job, etc. Psychopathic killers don’t view people as “people” the way normal folks do.
  • Finally, don’t investigate loud noises when you’re home alone, look behind you when you’re running away or herd yourself into a room from which there’s no alternate route of escape. You know; if you’ve seen it in a movie, don’t do it.
  • And, if all else fails, you can always SING:

If you think you might be ready to tackle my killer, you can check out the first chapter of Skinjumper here.


About the Author

LINCOLN CRISLER has been writing and editing horror and science fiction since 2006. His first novel-length collection, Queen & Other Stories, is now on sale from Apokrupha. His debut novel, Skinjumper, and third anthology are scheduled for publication in the fall. A United States Army combat veteran and non-commissioned officer, Lincoln lives in Augusta, Georgia.


About the Book

Skinjumper by Lincoln Crisler
Published November 24, 2014 by Ragnarok Publications

Rose Bennett, a young, recently-widowed mother, comes face to face with a newly-minted murderer and learns that there are much scarier things than raising a child alone in an unfamiliar town. Terry Miller has discovered three things in a very short amount of time: his high school sweetheart's been cheating on him with his father, killing is fun, and if he does it just right, he can switch bodies with his victims.


  1. That's right - if it's been done in a horror film, chances are it's the wrong thing to do. And don't think there is a 'right sort' either.
    Congratulations, Lincoln!

  2. now, this definitely wasn't a post for this little coon!


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