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Friday, December 14, 2012

Top 13 Twisted Tinsel Tales . . . on screen!

Welcome to today's instalment in Twisted Tinsel Tales!

Over the course of the week I'll be putting a horrific / humorous twist on the season, featuring book reviews, interviews, top 13 lists, guest posts, and odd facts about the holiday. It's all very twisted and terrible, and definitely not traditional, but it's all in good fun. Please join us for a daily antidote to the sugary spiritual sweetness of the season, and enjoy a few guilty pleasures along the way.

For the cinematic edition of our 13 Twisted Tinsel Tales, we feature, in alphabetical order:

1. United by terrifying and bizarre circumstances, the janitor, the drunk, the bartender, the cop, his perp, and the student security guard must fight to undo the professor's work in A Cadaver Christmas. A dark force is at work in the cadaver lab this Christmas and this unconventional band of heroes are the only hope the world has against an army of living corpses that are quickly recruiting new members. The undead have been given the gift of life and it's up to the janitor to take it back.



2. The college town of Bedford is receiving an unwelcome guest this Christmas. As the residents of sorority house Pi Kappa Sig prepare for the festive season, a demonic stranger begins to stalk the house. A series of grisly obscene phone-calls start to plague the residents of the sorority and soon they will each meet their fate at the hands of the psychotic intruder. As the Police try to trace the calls, they discover that nothing is as it seems during this Black Christmas.



3. On a beautiful California Christmas Day, the Merriman family celebration is interrupted by massacre and eight-year old son Devin walks out of the house with a blood-covered knife. Now, 15 years after little Devin brutally murdered his father and the family housekeeper, he escapes the sanitarium where he has been locked away with only one thing on his mind-- another bloody Christmas! Produced by David Sterling for horror fans that long for the slasher films of the '80 such as Friday the 13th, Silent Night Deadly Night, Don't Open Till X-Mas, or Christmas Evil comes the scariest slasher film of all--Deadly Little Christmas!

4. Harry Stadling (Brandon Maggert) is obsessed with Christmas! In fact he wants to "be the authentic Santa Claus, with a real suit, sleigh and reindeer'. Ever since he learned the 'truth' about Santa, he's tried to make Christmas a reality. Growing up a toy maker, Harry is met with naysayers and critics who mock him for his yuletide beliefs. but he wants people to get the presents they deserve, even if that means giving the gift of murder! Cynics and uptight hypocrites beware! Lewis Jackson's classic black comedy horror film, Christmas Evil (aka YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!) is, according to cult film director/auteur John Waters, 'the best seasonal film of all time. I wish I had kids. I'd make them watch it every year and, if they didn't like it, they'd be punished!' Time to hang those stockings from the fireplace and get ready. the sadistic holiday chestnut CHRISTMAS EVIL is here in an all-new Director's Cut edition. Transferred from the director's own personal film elements, this version of CHRISTMAS EVIL is the original first cut of the film containing even more scenes and never-before-seen footage!

5. From the co-creator of the horror classic Night of the Living Dead comes a seasonal tale of terror, madness, eroticism and murder that will chill you to the bone. B-Movie Scream Queen Raven Quinn won't be having the happiest of holidays this year. Her marriage is falling apart, and Wayne - a quiet next-door neighbor - has developed a macabre obsession for her that has reached the point of insanity. As Wayne's delusions grow even more dangerous and bizarre, he transforms into the most frightening serial killer ever to stalk the streets on a cold winter night...Santa Claws! Mercilessly butchering anyone who stands between him and the object of his obsession, the red-suited maniac tracks Raven down to the set of her latest horror movie.

6. It turns out that Santa Claus (WWE Superstar Bill Goldberg) is not really the sweet old fellow that we all know and love. In fact; he's a devil and the only thing that's kept his bad side in check was a bet he lost with an angel. After 1;000 years of playing nice; the bet is up and Santa is about to open up a can of holiday whoop-ass! It's time for Santa's Slay! The only glimmer of hope comes from an old man (Robert Culp) with a secret; his grandson (Douglas Smith) and his girlfriend (Emilie de Ravin; from TV's Lost). Brace yourself for one really bad Santa; bent on spreading holiday fear!

7 & 8. First up, gather round and bask in the warm glow of Satan Claus, as he slashes his way through the Big Apple in search of the perfect ornaments- body parts! An actor and his detective girlfriend join forces with a voodoo priestess to seek out the killer Kris Kringle in an effort to stop him before he can kill again! Then, meet Psycho Santa! While en route to a holiday gathering, young Ron teases his wife about the legend of a backwoods Santa with an axe to grind. However, when the legend comes to life, the Christmas bash turns into a holiday bloodbath!

9 & 10. Silent Night Deadly Night- After his parents are murdered a young tormented teenager goes on a murderous rampage dressed as Santa due to his stay at an orphanage where he was abused by the Mother Superior. Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2- Ricky the brother of the killer in the first film talks to a psychiatrist about how he became a brutal killer after his brother died leading back to Mother Superior.




11-13. The ashes of a deranged murderer make their way into a secret cookie mix, producing a killer gingerbread man that wrecks havoc on anything standing in its way. In the second installment, the The Gingerdead Man crashes a movie studio, leaving behind a trail of bloody murder and hilarious mayhem.

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